So I finished the picture to send for the wedding gift. I like it and I usually don't like them. I was spraying the fixative on it today though and noticed all sorts of things. Will they like it? I wish I had some crystal ball that would prevent me from second-guessing myself all the time.
I paint. I can't not paint. I tried. It just creeps back into everything I do. And once I start again, I dream about the pictures, I dream about painting. There is no escape and I don't want to escape it anyway. Its like a place I know I belong. I am comfortable there. I know me there. Some times I pretend that is all there is, just the studio, no other responsibilities, no other people needing things from me.
I stayed with him. Things are quieter now. I guess I am happy now. I don't try so hard anymore. We are both getting older. He hasn't changed much, but I know he loves me. So I guess that's enough. It doesn't mean I don't think about days in my past and wish some things were different. I think the trick is not to think so much about those things.
The health bill passed. I hope God is still watching out for us. I don't know yet if this is a good thing or a historical mess.
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